I out of body sort of but I am still in so much pain and can’t breathe right. I don’t want to take my meds anymore I just want to kill myself
For fucks sake, my meds make me gain a ton of weight and cause me to eat more. My disorders do the same thing. If I ate the amount they did and wasn’t on medication or was half as active as they are I would be 90 lbs. I even with all the extra weight I am still on the thin/average side.
My family called me fat three more times today. This is the same part of my family that always tried to get me to eat more AND wonders why I need therapy.
Sorry I’m kind of bitchy today but in case you didn’t know, this is my bitchy side/disorder blog.
I can’t deal with not getting attention tbh. I hate not getting notes or likes, I hate going out without getting compliments, I hate not getting looked at and I hate not having pleasant conversations with strangers. I know I said “I hate” too many times but I really do hate falling through the cracks.
My family called me fat four times today. Someone even called my sister the skinny one. That was me all my life, the thin one. It was my identity and when someone else got the title, it killed me. I don’t think I can handle it again.